I started being genuinely interested in going to India, my second semester, Freshman year. One of the seniors who lived in the smaller living unit (SLU) at my university told me about her experience and it sounded so cool that I just wished that something like that would happen to me. She talked about the people she met and the experiences she had and I couldn't help but want those kinds of experiences too. I was also interested in India because over the summer I participated in a Kirtan mediation class and it was incredibly inspiring. I already discussed this in my previous post about meditation but I remember opening my eyes and looking at everyone in the room and just knowing that this was something I want to do with my life. That dream, because of the program I'm going to be a part of, is going to come true.
Last semester, I walked up from the mail room before returning to my dorm and I saw a woman by a table with a sign advertising study abroad programs. I decided to just walk up and talk to her. "I'm interested in Study abroad" I said simply and she gave me a bunch of pamphlets with potential places to travel to. The Buddhist studies in India stuck out to me the most. That moment was the first time in the semester where I felt alive and happy at school. The opportunity to travel was what I needed to wake up and love learning again. At that point I wasn't sure if I would actually apply and I wasn't sure if I would actually go but somehow somewhere I found the motivation to fill out the paperwork, get the recommendations and follow all the steps to apply on time and take the risk to go to India. Once everything was sent all I could do was wait for the reply. I got my first batch of shots just in case I was going to go (Hepatitis A and B, Japanese Encephalitis, and typhoid, Yay!).
I got the news that I was going to go right before my math class. I was in the bathroom and I decided to check my emails. It was the first in my inbox and once I read it I started jumping around and whispering, "yes! yes! yes!" over and over. I texted my family and a few friends the news and I couldn't concentrate in my math class at all. I was smiling like a loony the whole time.
That weekend a whole bunch of alumni came to visit my SLU and one of them had gone on the trip to India that I admired so much. She was so excited for me and she gave me a whole bunch of websites to check out so that I would be very prepared. It was the sweetest thing.
Right now I am in the panic type of realization. I am panicking about everything and anything that has anything to do with this trip to India. I won't know anyone who is going until I meet them in London before we go to India and I barely know what I'm doing. I am going to be so far out of my comfort zone it's terrifying. It's also ridiculously exhilarating and exciting. Still terrifying. My nerves of India and my fear of missing out back at University and the added emotion of people graduating is too much to handle. I also have a ton of final papers and tests to wade through. Oh so many feelings. Oh so much excitement! What am I ever going to do!
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