Chicago
I got off the plane, the end of my grand adventure, and into the waiting arms of my family. It had been so long, it was as though I had forgotten I belonged to them and always had. I joined them on their journey home and delved into the world I now considered to be the future.
Vancouver
I wasn't home for long. After a few days I was placed on another plane and thrust into another set of open arms. My father's side of the family. They asked me questions I didn't know how to answer and started conversations that made me feel alone. I found myself in a position where I had to pretend like the last four months didn't happen for fear of being considered pretentious. By the end of the week I was a bundle of frustration but on the last night that frustration broke when my uncle and I went head to head in an argument about every problem we could remember on this massive planet. We didn’t end up discovering how to create world peace but the resolution of our argument made me finally feel like people understood that something had changed within me.
Montreal
Just as soon as I was beginning to feel settled, again I was carted off to an airport and flown to my mother's side of the family into more waiting arms and more questions I didn't know how to answer. I could feel hairline fractures beginning to form in my psyche. Having always been the person who wants to experience every moment fully, I found that I didn’t have the energy. So I didn’t. The first day I was in Montreal I stayed in bed, crippled by a migraine. My jet lag and emotional exhaustion finally caught up with me and no amount of guilt about wasting time could move me to fix my headache. My head eventually resolved itself and I had to face my family. Frustration began to build once again. Sometimes I would feel immense amounts of love and compassion for my family members and then the next moment I couldn't understand why people weren't trying to be better kinder people. My internalized Buddhism from my four months abroad made me hyper aware of my thoughts. Bo, by the end of the week I became a puddle of lonely confusion. My sister was an invaluable resource of love and understanding. She had been there all along and she had been helping me through my transition the whole time.
Chicago
One more airplane. I flew back to Chicago. I wasn’t welcomed by waiting arms and questions. I was welcomed by a warm bed and solitude. Sweet, reflective solitude. I spent the week mostly by myself reading or browsing the web. I met with a few friends who I had gone on my adventures with and they helped me feel more settled on this side of the world. The end of the week brought me to my upcoming arrival to school. I packed away my life again. I packed my Indian adventures and my home, Chicago. I packed Vancouver and I packed Montreal. When my dwellings were packed, my mother and I brought them to my new home.
